What’s ‘literacy’ in South Walian?

During and since attending university, I’ve met some brilliant people. People I’ll have in my life for the rest of it. And that’s great. Unfortunately, some of whom hail from South Wales!
Now hold on a second, before the inhabitants of all the hills and vales below Machynlleth ascend upon me to do something…. Erm…. South Walian to me, allow me to make this point!
Why the hell do you speak like that? And I don’t even mean the accent, which is about as gentle on the ear as Vincent Van Gogh was to his. Just the vocabulary and grammar you decide to share with unsuspecting victims who stumble across your acquaintance!
“Where you to?” Apparently this means ‘where are you?’. So why do you not just bloody say ‘where are you?’?. It’s unreal. Granted, Americans do in fact see it fit to ask the location of someone by (more often than not) over-enthusiastically screaming the words ‘where you at?’, but this doesn’t allow permission for South Walians to feel the need to coin their own term for it.
Here’s another, ‘tooth’. Ok, it’s harder to explain pronunciation whilst writing but the ‘normal’ parts of the English-speaking planet say this word as having an -oo- sound in it. Correct. Granted, anomalies lie in words such as book, hook, look and cook etc, but tooth definitely has an -oo- sound in it. Like Typhoo! But the Welsh M4 users choose to express it as ‘tuth’. No! Incorrect! That sounds like Chris Eubank saying ‘tus’…. And that’s not even a bloody word either!
What the hell is a ‘scram’. I’ll tell you what it isn’t, a bloody light scratch of the skin. Yet according to the ‘Southerners’, it is! Very rarely do I accept the term ‘scrawp’ to describe a light scratch, and that’s a Flintshire word! The term ‘scram’ is from the German ‘schrammen’ meaning to flee or leave quickly. Ok?
Despite their apparent linguistic flaws (and thankfully I shan’t delve into the depths of Northern and Southern Welsh dialects…. yet), they are lovely people, and ones which I am proud to call my friends. But only when their mouths are shut and all I get from them is a smiley face 🙂
Luvs ya, I do!


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