Remember a few blogs ago (yes, blogs are now a form of timescale) when I mentioned that my ever-pessimistic, ever-rant-ridden blogs were becoming slightly morbid? Well having read an article recently, I felt obliged to share with you its message in the hope that my present morbid outlook on life may be quashed!
Would it not be better to live one’s life the other way around?
Staying with the morbid theme for one final time, we could all do the dying bit at the start so that’s out of the way.
Our first few years of life are spent in a home, which isn’t as bad as it sounds. You are tended to 24 hours a day and all your family come to see you. You gradually, over the years, become stronger and fitter until the day arrives when you are just too darn healthy to stay in said home.
You enjoy your retirement and spend time doing what you’ve always wanted- complete with the knowledge and wisdom you would have previously lost.
After many years of travelling the world and buying things that only a retired person would, you begin work…. and receive a gold watch and a heap of flowers bought with the largest whip-round known to man on your very first day.
You work your way younger until it’s time to go to university where you, yet again, have the time of your life and meet the best of people.
School’s next, bringing with it new friends who just so happen to live around the same area as yourself. The school work becomes gradually easier and easier, even to the point where teachers (wonderful as they are) stop setting homework and let you play in sand until your parents pick you up and you go home.
You become a baby and, once again, have everything done to you. Everything makes you smile, and said smile makes everyone happy too.
Your final nine months of life are spent floating around in a cocoon of all but spa-like conditions, food brought to you on tap. Then, you end your life as an orgasm!
Smiley, baby face 🙂