The Higgs Boson. What a fantastic discovery (if we can call it that yet?). Just like humans have always used the finding of electricity for everyday common use and the finding of magnetism beneficial in navigating across the universe, the discovery of this scientific gem will forever change the future of humanity. Oh, and the project was headed by Welshman, Dr Lyn Evans. Just saying!
And come on, the Higgs Boson trumps all of Christianity too – without it, believers couldn’t have mass….
Get it? Mass? Pah, whatever!
Now, you may be wondering why I’m excessively using appalling adjectives, equally appalling humour and long-winded half-explanations to describe this ultimately mankind-changing discovery…. Well I’m going to tell you anyway! Because, in all honesty, I don’t fully understand it and I probably never will. That’s not for want of trying either. I literally find it mind-boggling enough in itself to even begin to fathom from where the idea came for this boson’s existence, never mind actually have sufficient scientific knowledge to claim that I’ve discovered it! But….
Has anyone ever heard the term; “What do you think you are, a bloody rocket scientist?” …. Or something along those lines?
Well, how about they ‘f**k off?!’
Don’t get me wrong, these people [I mean scientists here, not the mindless oafs who use the above sentence!] are most definitely clever, and the work they complete is ever-assisting in the future and development of the universe…. but what makes them the most clever people in the world? Clever enough that ‘civilian’ minds may not measure up to them?
As aforementioned in previous blogs, I’m never one to sing my own praises but I’d love to have one of these CERN scientists come and do what I do for a day or two.
Individually learn to play guitar in 6 months to playing and singing standard. Become proficient in playing the ukelele in less than a fortnight. Learn all the Celtic languages (including 4 that no longer exist) to conversational level. Teach Welsh on a daily basis having learnt the language in the first place and blog one’s heart out to the extent of having around 70 essays (read over 2000 times) to date. Gain a degree in a language that isn’t my mother tongue as well as completing initial teacher training qualifications in said language. Write for two local newspapers / magazines and have rather nice reviews. Oh, I’m also a bit of a dab-hand at acting, song-writing and poetry, but we won’t go into that ;)!
Even Dr Lyn Evans is said to have struggled in his French lessons at school. What a loser, French was easy!
I’ve achieved a lot in my life. Granted, I may not have pioneered in ideas predicted by none other than Einstein himself and discovered why everything in the universe has mass, but I’ve done pretty well.
We’re all brilliant. We’re all clever. So next time you feel the need to be cleverly sarcastic by using the phrase; “What are you, a rocket scientist?”…. Stop! Hold back! Wait for the look on their faces when you ask them whether they’re ‘clever’ enough to be you! Don’t need the Higgs Boson to tell you that they’re not and never will be!
Enjoy, suckers! You’re all sh*tter than me!